I cant believe what has been happening in less than a month. It is a weird feeling because inside there is a true peace that I feel God is in control of what is happening around me but inside I wonder what I am learning or am to see from all of this.
"Be still and Know that I am God"
These are the words that have just hit me as I am writing. I have been everywhere in my thoughts in the past few weeks. I have so many things on my mind, I am frusterated, worried angry , exhausted, lost, confused, and so many more things. When these things begin to happen I want to take everything into my hands and make it better. I want to fix what i see, or throw away what i see, at mad at what i see, but really what will that change. Nothing. Wise words given to me this week. Kimberly what ever you are thinking.... bite your tongue. One thing I have had to think about this week as situation are gettign to me and they build up inside me.
Then lately i want to solve evrything how things shoudl look run, be butreally no matter how hard I try nothing will really change from what God has planned, except part of me just htings you may ruin what good God is trying to plan so butt out. Its Gods plan get to know Him better and His plan will go forth even if I dont do anything on my own.
TOnight I also have thought what if I am not here tomorrow. What do I want people to know, or how to be remebered. Well I am not sure on all of that tonight. One thing that as hit me is there have been many friendships in the past that maybe I said something, did something, or walked away from in the past and what i want you to know if I dont have the chance to tell you in person or may not even know how I hurt or or why I friendships have gone different ways. BUT I want you to know that I am sorry. Your friendship in the past would be and is to me just as important to me today. Deep inside I wish those friendships coudl be healed and gro back to where they once were. I dont know where or how that is possible. But know this I am sorry and I hope I am forgiven. May you allow me to try again and rebuild a friendship with no hurts or regrets attached. Today is a new day, why dwell on what has been in the past, where is that going to get us in the future. Forgivness is key and grace is what we have been shown and may I live a life where I can show grace to those around me. Life is to short.
I am not totally sure what I am wriitng and as this whole blog it is just be rambling. But i think I need to back off from sitautions for a while. Watch from the sidelines. Learn to love God even deeper then I ever thought coudl be possible and watch how love and life will grow. If I you know me at all may you know today if I didnt tell you in person you mean a lot to me, and I wish we coudl only have spent more time in fellowship and I pray that walls will be broken and those things can happen again.
As I head to bed I am seriously reflecting on Gods words.
"Be still and know I am God"
I know he will make it happen.
I love you Lord with all my heart. May you keep transforming me into the women you want me to be. May I always remember that I am a princess of the most mighty King of all. I want you to take me and mold me to they way you want me to be. Lord I am yours.
"Be still and know I am God"
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