Well today was one of those days. A blah day..thats why I am excitied about tomorrow. Tomorrow is my offical launch of this site. but today is a day that I feeel blah, I dont feel great this cold and flu of every kind is hanging in for way to long and my whole body is doen with it...but its Monday and Monday means to hang out with a good friend of mine well a great friend. I love Monday night not only for the great show we get to watch together....and to admit some times i wish I was in some of their shoes. But for the hours we talk and talk about life. See I can show up there dressed however I feel, tired, happy, sad, disappointed angry whatever and I get to just be me.
I remember one day we were talking about me and me crying about things. I often find my self crying because my heart is so sensitive to people and situations around me. I hate hurting people, or not being able to help others, or not good enough, so when I talk I get so passionate about things I often shed tears. I knwo this will shy people away from me and I sometimes wish I coudl change it but I dont know if I can. My good friend said to me once though she said.."Yes you cry a lot but when people hang out with you and see all the great qualities in you and what an amazign person you are then they see the tears and that is just a part of what makes you so amazing" (may not be quoted exact, lol).
Tonight my friend chanllenged me with the question. " What is it about you the God cherishes?" Wow now that is a question that never really was thought of in detail. God just does liek me he made me...but the question was why or how does He cherish you? This stemed from wanting a man to cherish me and love me..but first I want God number one...well then how will I allow God to cherish me and when will I know a truly feel cherished by God to know that I can be cherished fully by a human.
So this got me thinking and I will have to think about it more and may write on it another day, but I do know God cherishes my tears. I have coem to the fact that yes He loves my heart and understands that a person my not feel what I feel but the way I feel about something is what makes me unquie makes me me. And what is cool about that is that is what God cherishes about me. He doesnt mind sitting and listening and cathcing my tears. Those tears are making me into more of who I am. They may be breakign my heart from the past, making me more compassionate fro those around me, tears that are allowing me to be broken or hurt about something that has happened and allowing me to be comforted...tears to allow me relate to people in a way that maybe another cant. God cherishes that unique sometime akward thing about me.
I know tears can be weird I I try to stop them and I know many of you dont understand..but even for you who dont understand and think I am crazy yet stand by me day after day..I think you for accepting me just the way I am.
I am excited to really think of how does God cherish me? How cna I be more like the person God created me to be? Maybe God is flushing out all the garbage so he can fill me up with the good he has planned. Maybe some of you need to get on board shed a few tears let the pain out or the garbage out it may seem silly but God wants to fill us up with amazing stuff but first we got to let some stuff go to make room for what he has in store. Let go of past hurts open up a new spot for the blessing he has brought to you today. Ahhh what a great God we have..I look forward to gettign to knwo him in a deeper and deeper way.
I deserve to be chersihed and why not start with the true gentleman Jesus Christ! Who loves me the most no strings attached just the way I am!
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